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-How many French does it take to defend Paris?
-Nobody knows, its never been attempted.
-French Army tanks have five gears: four in reverse, and one forwards - in case the enemy attacks from the rear.
-"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."--Conan O'Brien
-"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"--Jay Leno
-"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."--David Letterman
-"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."--Norman Schwartzkopf